Welcome to my site. I am a creative soul. These are my creations.
Photography has always been a part of me. I love capturing moments and working with people who are passionate about what they do. I am available for onsite and studio projects.
I've been building commercial software and web applications for more than 25 years. I specialize in mobile and web technologies with a strong focus on end user experience.
PLAYING. WRITING. LISTENING.
Music is a universal language. It has the unique ability to move us. As we embrace it, we get emotional currency that connects our soul to something greater than ourselves.
No Filters. No Calories. My Blog.
There are moments in the creative process where something unseen flows through you like a rushing stream. You learn to embrace these moments.
I am so grateful for this moment.
My pain level in my lower back has been at a constant 6 with my up/down pain in the 8-9 range for weeks. Every step is a struggle. Getting seated or getting up comes with an insane amount of pain. There's a point when your mind just adjusts to the new normal and you go on.
I awoke today with a new level of pain coming from just about every joint in my tired body. And my lower back was screaming.
It is a crisp morning here in Phoenix as I take a moment to enjoy a warm cup of coffee and reflect a little. Not on the past but on the present. Right now. The here. The now.
Big breath in... big exhale. Ahhh. I notice the sun is gently warming the mountains as it rises. This is a brand new day. A brand new year. A big, beautiful new canvas that is untouched by anyone and ready for a new masterpiece. There are no wrong answers. No wrong colors. This canvas has no expectations or requirements. There are no judgements.
If I were asked to leave a few final words that might be found by another seeker, I would say the number one thing I have learned in this life is to be generous.
Do it big. Do it to the best of your ability. Do it quietly.
Be generous.
Be generous with your time, talents, abilities, resources, energy, forgiveness, mercy, patience and money. Don't wait to be asked for help. Focus on becoming sensitive to the needs around you and then give what you are able. Do it quietly and as anonymously as humanly possible.
Sometimes going back isn't an option. It just depends on what happened and the condition of the relationship. Is the bridge still intact?
You: What the hell are you rambling about Ash?
Me: I have a few things on my mind today. And in the words of the great wedding singer... I have a microphone and you don't. You know the rest... lol
I remember growing up, I knew a family where the father would preemptively become abusive while placing an order at the local McFast Food place. It was the very same spot that consistently served him cold, disgusting alternatives to the hot, fresh food they promised on the commercials.
I'm on the go and need to get something with about 50gr of protein. I don't have a ton of time, so I decide a quick protein shake will get me through until my pre-workout meal.
I stop into a popular place in Scottsdale that serves up such beverages and order the leanest shake I can possibly get in this place while still ordering off the menu. I just removed the fruit and added one extra scoop of protein. The guy at the register looks at me and with a straight face says... that's $19.
"I'm not trying to be an asshole here but..."
Here's a phrase that is invariably followed by someone being a huge asshole. At least you know there is a 100% chance of asshole like actions to follow.
In promise form, the spoken word has completely lost it's meaning for me. It is now simply a placeholder for possible action.
Jesus is changing his name. I know this because a friend's sister's cousin knows his mom and she said he can't even enjoy a smoothie at Nékter without people piling up to ask him for shit.
Come on. He's sick of everyone asking for everything. Lottery numbers, the good parking spot in the Walmart lot, discounts on chainsaws, a 'Greenie' with no apple, extra ginger.... and his absolute favorite; get me through this and I'll never do THAT again. lol
Cleaning the house today and found a couple interesting photos of my late 20's. Some people wish they could go back... I NEVER wanna go back there.
At 27 years old, I was on my way out of this life. Almost 300 pounds, I worked 100 hour work weeks, ate terribly and never exercised. My eating was out of control and the 10 or more sodas per day weren't doing me any favors either.
I'm just reading through the email this morning when an alert reminder pops up from the stupid Apple calendar app announcing "Father's Day is tomorrow".
My first thought is "how do I turn this reminder off"?
Then, the part of my brain that handles my paternal type repressions steps up to the microphone and starts up. The rest of me is saying... 'shut that fucking guy up over there'.
As an introvert, this is something I have struggled with my entire life. Sitting on the sidelines evaluating the odds of failure, rejection or even someone hurting you. All the while, everyone else has "jumped in".
Win, lose or draw; those who have "jumped in" are experiencing something. I'm not saying evaluation isn't important. And I'm certainly not saying to "jump in" to anything that comes along. But there is a point where you must start participating on a level worthy of the opportunity or risk losing it.
Day four and I have to say there was absolutely no magic waking me this morning. Truth be told, yesterday afternoon was extremely challenging and I really struggled to get through it. This quarantine has really impacted my market and I feel so helpless as many of my dear customers suffer punishing losses. These are hard working small business owners that are watching their life's work crumble right in front of them.
I know that feeling well.
Yesterday's morning session had me feeling connected, energized and hopeful. By noon, I couldn't think of one thing to feel positive about. The day had gone to shit.
I know this feeling well and I loath it. It's that realization you might be living Groundhog Day. I have customers that need help, the Internet is going up and down, T-mobile is having outages, no work can get done, I live in the middle of nowhere, no one can hang out, you can't go to Starbucks for coffee and a hotspot... you get the picture. This has been going on for months and yesterday it took my legs out from under me.
I gave up. I turned off my phone and devices and went to bed. I awoke this morning feeling super lost.
I had a few errands to run and got in the car, opened the windows and turned up the music. The morning breeze was fantastic and gave me a little time to adjust my attitude.
This afternoon's outages allowed me a break to do a few things around the house and then enjoy a two hour drum session. Then it hit me....
I felt so lost because I had failed to find my purpose for the day.
As I discovered yesterday, PURPOSE is one of the two most important beliefs in my Will column. Not only life's purpose but I must find a daily purpose. Without it, I can't grow as a person.
Day four.
Day three and my logical brain woke me at 4am like a six year old on Christmas morning. You know, the one with all the ego yesterday? lol
I awoke feeling pretty wrecked again. My pain level was a solid six in my joints but something was very different today. It was much easier to get to that place of gratitude. I realized that of the items on my new beliefs chart, nine could be accomplished in a moment and two were ongoing, all vital to my existence.
Then out of nowhere, a thought hit me like a nine pound hammer. What would it mean if the answer to those nine items was YES? Like in... it's done. Completed. I got you. Presto! Tadaaaaaa! ;-)
With these items right in my life, what would be important to me then?
The answer floored me. I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders. I had this new freedom to focus on the things that really matter. Gratitude and thankfulness poured out.
I became aware of the two most important areas of my life. In the spirit of transparency, the two items remaining were: continue to grow as a person and continue to fulfill my life's purpose.
What if everything that you are, that you were and will be is available to you right now? Think about that for a moment.
Wouldn't you choose to be the best version of you?
Day three.
Day two of our Probability experiment. I created a chart yesterday to display a visual rendering of my beliefs about myself and my life. It was enlightening. I then created a copy of the chart and moved many of the Won't beliefs into the Should and Will columns. I then moved a few of the negative beliefs from Will to the Won't column.
I can't say I was surprised when I saw the first chart. These were an honest representation of what I believed about myself and where I was going.
Just as I have done before, I placed the new chart everywhere I typically look. It's my Mac desktop wallpaper and I printed versions for around the house. It's everywhere. :-)
This morning's meditation took on a new direction. I woke up wrecked, in a lot of pain. The last thing I wanted to do was meditate on this stuff. Slowly, I made my way around the house, opening windows and trying to talk my brain into this new way of thinking. I started mouthing how grateful I was for the items in the "Will" column. It felt fake and my ego wasn't having it. But I continued as I got coffee and returned to my bedroom.
Then all of the sudden I became aware of something. That 'Will' column became truth to me and I couldn't help myself as I returned real gratitude for this new gift. I felt a real separation between my logical brain and whatever I was doing at that moment. I can only describe it as a connection to the flow of something. I was being introduced to the best version of me. I could feel joy overwhelm me as the words 'thank you' poured out.
Day two.
Tosin Abasi... what can't this guy do? He's created a whole new approach to melodic guitar. Virtuoso doesn't even describe the level this guy is playing at. AND... he has his own guitar company where he makes extended range guitars like no one else on the planet. This kid is what real success looks like.
Wow... what a view. Watching a couple NASA dudes float around space this morning. They need to have Crystal Method's 'High Roller' playing in the background. lol
That reminds me, I always wanted to remix that tune with every ridiculous request a guy has when he finds a genie lamp .... "I want a big bag of money and cheeseburgers" ... "You got it". 💰🍔
Possibilities vs. Probabilities - here's a thought that just fell on me. What if we had the ability to really design our life? What would yours be based on?
Possibilities - Things that could happen. No real control. It might happen it might not.
Probabilities - Won't. Can't. Should. Will. - A belief system.
The first thing that occurred to me, we already have a version of the probabilities belief system. Things that can't, won't, should and will happen in our lives. I wonder just how many things we miss out on because we believe it can't or won't happen.
Looking at my life, it's interesting how many things wound up in the Won't and Can't columns. What if we just move a couple over into the Will column and meditate on it for 30 days? What would happen?
I will let you know.
Hey Youtube... you need a 'Tip Jar' feature so people can tip the content creator. (it can go right next to the 'like' button)
That way I could tip the shit out of awesome content like this!
Shot a few new headshots for the book jacket. lol
Yes... hello Amazon? It's time to allow us customers to filter by COUNTRY OF ORIGIN. You know, new normal...
Something just came out of his frontal cortex sir...
